Parenting: The Challenge

Our society is changing rapidly.  How many of us have looked out at the world and thought “these kids today….” But really, how about these kids today?  So many kids are disrespectful, out of control and in trouble.  It seems like many parents don’t really want to do the work it takes to be a parent.  Parents are held accountable for their children’s behavior by schools, other parents and even in the courts.  Court ordered parenting classes are now the norm rather than the exception.  But do these parenting classes actually work?  Are they actually encouraging respectful parenting or are they creating angry resentful parents who feel like they are forced into action?

Several studies have looked into this issue.  The results, while mixed, definitely show a trend.  The first findings noted that parents who wanted help with their parenting style showed substantially more positive results from their classes.  Parents who had no interest in help showed some positive results, but not on the level of those seeking help. The study concluded that this had to do with the angry and resentful feelings the parents forced to enroll brought into their class.  Class facilitators were encouraged to deal with these feelings in an appropriate but direct way in order to reach the parents and get them involved in the class.

Additional studies showed that even when parents were not enthusiastic about the classes, children still benefited.  Reports of abuse and neglect were reduced in families where parents attended a parenting course. Home visits confirmed that parents were spending more time with their children and having more discussions about the family rules and expectations.  All these results create a better home environment for the children.  It has been shown that those individuals who are the most disturbed later in life had a difficult childhood.

So it seems that parents can really benefit from taking some kind of class.  Perhaps we should encourage young parents to reach out and ask for help, before things get out of hand. Parenting is such an individual experience.  Most people rely almost exclusively on their own experiences as children in deciding how they will parent.  Many may not realize there is another way.  Perhaps parenting classes should be marketed the way Lamaze or birthing classes are offered to expecting parents.  At least then there might be more interest and enrollment will certainly follow. This really would benefit not just those parents and their families, but society at large as well.