Parenting: The Challenge

Issues facing children today are more intense and complicated than a generation ago. You probably had restrictions on your use of the telephone and television. Today, children are inundated with media sources from cell phones, 100’s of TV channels not to mention chat rooms and the internet in general.

Parents experience confusion with all the conflicting expert child rearing practices, do not want to raise their children the way they were raised, but don’t know what else to do. We are witnessing a breakdown of the influence of family on children in the west. There is evidence all around us indicating the problems facing families today; the lack of discipline and the sense of entitlement that we see in our young people.

All, one has to do is look around and see scores of whining, tantrum throwing, impatient children being dragged along by frustrated, hostile, bewildered parents.

We hear from the school administrators that the main job of teachers today is maintaining discipline in the classroom. How many of us have known good teachers who quit teaching because it was about just keeping the children in their chairs and trying to have positive meeting with parents who resented any negative comments about their children.

How often are children in restaurants so badly behaved that embarrassed parents leave before the meal is finished or worse pretend that the behavior is normal and acceptable in a public place.

We see schools making parents be the ‘Homework Police”. Making it mandatory that the parents keep track of and are responsible for their children doing their homework. So the only real job of school age children, doing well in school has now been put on the parents.

Often we see and hear children show an incredible lack of respect for their parents and other adults. They feel they have a right to privileges without responsibility, resent any restriction of their freedom and see no reason to participate in household chores.

Parents are upset and bewildered. They have more concerns than ever on how to be a good parent. Doctors are seeing more disturbed children, diagnosing more behaviors that they can treat with drugs some which have not been tested for use with children. Often the parenting style and behavior problems are not evaluated to see if there can be changes made to improve the situation before resorting to medications.

Parents are upset, some regretting they ever had children. Children are out of control, bored, unmotivated and defiant.

What is the answer? What is good parenting?

And on top of all that the old parenting strategies and child rearing techniques just aren’t working anymore. As the feminist movement caught on and women declared their equality to men, this equality translated into treating children as equals and as a result both partners lost power over their children. Children over the last couple of generations have been sensitized to the equality of adults at home and in the workplace. Parents as well recognized that the do as I say form of parenting children has become less popular and effective but have not solidified new methods based on democratic principles and frequently mistaken unrestricted freedom and chaos for democracy. Freedom based on responsibility and accountability is missing. Children who feel entitled to do what they please without consequence are selfish, immature, unable to follow rules and be sensitive to the feelings of others.

As a consequence parents have become slaves to their children’s whims and desires. They cover for their children, disallow their experience of natural consequences, put up with unreasonable demands, are afraid to say no and basically have lost influence over their children.

It is clear that parents can no longer threaten or use physical force to discipline their children. There have to be new parenting resources to encourage and motivate children into cooperation and responsibility. Parents must learn how to become a match for their children. Become the masters at finding ways to guide and influence their children without letting them have unbridled freedom and without stifling their individuality and creativity.

There are many ways to educate yourself in parenting styles that can help you raise happy responsible children. Obviously, there are books but sometimes the choices are overwhelming. And, how do you choose the right one? There are parenting classes that you can take for parenting young children, parenting school age children and parenting teenagers but you then have to find them, make babysitting arrangements and fit it into an already busy schedule. What about Online Parenting Classes? They are convenient and fit today’s busy lifestyle. And with online parenting courses which teach the STEP (systematic training for effective parenting) method you can learn a practical approach to parenting that will be the only system you need.