Parenting: The Challenge

A divorce does not mean the end of the world although it can feel like it during the process. As a parent your concerns are more complex and the changes divorce brings can make it more difficult to take care of both yourself and your children as you and your partner separate and begin new lives.

If you are the partner who decides to leave, there can be emotions of guilt, relief, anger and worry to deal with. If you are the partner who is being left your emotions can run the gamut from self-pity, anger, hurt, depression, anxiety and more.

Your children are in a unique position. They do not have any control over  what is happening to their lives. The adults around them are making major life decisions that will affect them and often the parents are so upset, there is precious little emotional support left over for what the children are going through. Remember that the stress of a divorce affects the children too. Depending on the ages of the children parents may experience behavior regression. Children who were potty trained start wetting themselves. Older children may have physical symptoms like stomach aches, lack of motivation, outbursts of anger. Helping young children with stress management is essential. Teens may blame one or the other parent as being responsible for the break-up. As trying as these feelings are, the important thing is to be truthful to you children as it is age appropriate to do so.

During this time it will be important to manage your stress, see if you can create a support system for yourself with friends and family. You need to have a safe place to let go and not have to worry about the children hearing you. If that is not possible, see if you can go to a counselor who can be an objective listener.

One of the ways parents can help their children and themselves is to take time to educate yourselves as to what both you and your children will go through as you work through this stage of your relationship. There are divorce classes that you can take online that are a convenient way to get the information you need to understand the effects of divorce on your children make this time in your life a new beginning even though it seems like the end right now.